Single Moms and Life

It’s hard

Being a single mom is hard. It is hard when the father is helping it is extremely hard when he doesn’t. I am a single mother who has done it on her own for 20 years. With my oldest child, the father was barely in the picture. The only time he ever gave her the time of day is when it would make him look good. My son’s dad is very much a part of his life. They spend time together, do things together, and have a very good relationship.

I do have the support of family. They step in when I am really in need. They have helped fix the car, bought groceries, and kept the lights on a couple of times. Everyone needs some kind of help from time to time. If you do not have family that can help you, you should reach out for help from friends or seek government assistance. It’s hard but it doesn’t have to be impossible.  

 

Your life is on hold

The life of a single mom is on hold while she raises her kids. At least mine was. I know there are some women who continue one with just like they always have and do not let children stop them from living. I am not talking to them. I am talking to the women who place raising their children above and in front of everything else.

I really don’t know how those who do not let the fact that they have children slow them down. I mean I get it, sort of. Some people can’t handle the responsibility of raising small humans. There are also some people who have no business having anything to do with children. Yep, I said it. I’m not taking it back either.

I pretty much put everything on hold when I became a single parent. While he really didn’t want anything to do with her he also would have done anything to take her away from me just so he could make me miserable. I could not/would not allow anything to happen that would jeopardize me keeping her. Granted I really don’t do anything that would have given them a reason to take her but I did not want to take any chances.

You got this Momma. It gets better. You do have options.   

Working for someone else

One of your options is to work for someone else. This is a great choice for most of us. There is a less apparent surface risk to work for someone else. Notice I said surface risk. When you work for someone else you are at their mercy. If and when they decide they don’t want you to work for them anymore then you are gone. It happens all the time. It is a false sense of security.

Being a single mom you feel that you need the knowledge of how much you are going to make and bring home a week/month. This is all good until it isn’t. An employer can end your employment at any given time, for pretty much any reason. It really isn’t as secure as it was in past lifetimes. Businesses go under, relationships (business) change, and my personal favorite; your position has been leaned out. This means that they just don’t need your position anymore. That is pretty much what is happening to me. I’ve been preparing for it though. It isn’t as traumatic as it could have been.  

Building something for you and your children

I don’t know about ya’ll but I have always been one of those people who are afraid to take the leap and work for myself. There are plenty of women out there who have taken the plunge and are killing it as a single mom and business owner. My kids are almost grown now and I am finally doing what I need to do. The fear was very real to me. Of course the fact that I grew up in a time where you went all through school, college, and then worked for someone else until you retired. It isn’t like that now.

The college degree that you pay dearly for isn’t worth the paper that it is printed on anymore. Believe me, I managed to go all the way to a masters degree even though I am a single mom and working full time. It wasn’t easy and it was extremely expensive. I now have over $100,000 in student loans that if I were to continue on the path I am on I would die still owing them. That isn’t going to happen.

I am now going to focus my time and efforts to inform as many women as I can to start your own business. If you need to work, raise children, and work a business then, by all means, do it. The main idea is to get something, anything, going so that you will have precautions in place.  

Working for yourself

This is something that I have the confidence to finally do. It is something I have always wanted to do but fear totally held me back. I didn’t know what to do. The only thing I was even familiar with was direct sales. Knowing that I would rather give things away instead of selling them so I would suck at it, I did it anyway. I did suck at it. It isn’t the products, it was me. Like I said, I would rather give things away than sell them. Sigh.

Next came an online store and dropshipping. I really don’t think I gave that enough of a chance. It may make an appearance again after I get time to devote to it. You know, something running in the background to have an extra form of income.

Then I found Virtual Assisting (VA).

Wait.

What?

I have been doing this for 15 years! Why didn’t I know I could do this online? I always thought that the big bloggers and online store owners magically did everything themselves.

Guess what. They don’t.   

Many of them have large teams of VA’s that help them. Virtual Assistants usually do the work that does not bring the owner joy or the stuff that is a time suck for them. I actually enjoy doing the back end stuff so I feel this is a perfect fit for me.

And then there is the blog. I don’t doubt that it is going to evolve and change many times over the next few months while I find my voice and my place in the blogging world. The kids and I are going to start a YouTube channel unboxing, sampling and trying out different things. I’m not sure if I will pull that over to the blog or keep them separate. We may try it and see how people respond to that.

Enough of your time

Well, I feel like I have taken enough of your time for today. I have to get the meals that I can freeze put together for the next couple of weeks. Drop me a line here or leave a reply at the bottom and let me know what you think about putting some of the unboxing stuff over on the blog also. Most of what will be on the YouTube channel will be about the boxes themselves. We could put how we feel about the products on the blog.  You can also tell me about yourself and if you think you are ready for a work from home job. Do you already have one? I can’t wait to hear from you. Thank you and have a great week!

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